the real breakthrough to be happy.

"What's happiness?"

This is one question I have always pondered on during the few moments when my mind gets to be free from the usual clutter of everyday thoughts - that is, when I'm not engrossed in some busy banter or preoccupied with finding the most effective way to pass an exam while getting my daily shots of eight-hour zzz's. Other times it'd occur to me in the midst of devouring novels with sappy 'happiness' themes or while slouching on my seat watching silly no-brainer movies. Once I even came across a certain Archie comic edition where everybody at Riverdale High wore statement shirts emblazoned with eye-popping "Happiness is..." phrases, the ellipses filled in according to the wearer's notion of what happiness is. The whole thing sure caught my fancy, and I even remembered asking myself what particular shirt and message I'd end up telling the world if such was the case.

So what's the real score?

For one, happiness is not a thing to be searched for, they say; either you find it or it finds you. I had always been intrigued and fascinated by the fact that many people have given up lots of sacrifices, even risked their lives, just to be happy. Quite a crowd gave their all and still died unhappy. In the past (and even up to now) I had been stupid enough to believe that there is such a thing as "happiness as an expected end", that if only you were persistent and determined enough to pursue and keep your flickering hope alive in something until you have it in your hands, you're sure to be happy.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

It dawned on me that I was just another victim of the happiness game, another poor old chap who had fallen for an expected misunderstanding of the whole happiness thing. Not only did I wind up sorely frustrated, but I also found myself embarking on many more missions with the same empty promise of happiness: Do this, do that; think of this, think of that. What I had evidently failed to see was the vacuity of it all, the palpable folly of my actions. And it drove me to realize that all along, I had been too focused on my one-and-only "goal" to see the many other sights along the happiness highway and spot any alternative routes or even destinations in the process. On this dreary summer night I gathered up my wits and thought of possible "happiness" sources:

• Getting 1.0's in all subjects (I came so close last time! Missed it by a hair's breadth of 0.03, damn Chem 14)
• Winning a Palanca gold medal (I only settled for second place last time)
• Having math back in my life (Boy, med school is a whole big world of sciences)
• Being a future Nobel Prize for Medicine awardee (we'll see...)

Well, I guess you can readily classify me as a dreamer. You might even add to that "unrealistic". But then it hit me a second later: Why think of farfetched fantasies? Why ask for greater pomp and glamour when in fact, with the many things I have in my life right now, I can choose to be happy? Eventually the alarming truth forced me to believe that if I were to pick an Archie shirt, I'm bound to fail - unless I provide myself with a wardrobe of these, each printed with a different wish.

Yet come to think of it, what is happiness, simply put? Eventually the following list tallies:

• A roof above my head
• Three meals a day
• Adequate sleep (Make that EIGHT HOURS. And I suppose it applies to this summer only.)
• A loving set of parents and siblings
• Good health
• Making it to Intarmed Class 2011
• Having your younger brother beat your record in the MTAP (and he beat Pisay too!!)
• High school reunions and get-togethers
• Writing
• A close relationship with God

There, better. Now I'm sure if I were to wear an Archie shirt myself, it'd go on like this:

"Happiness is...CONTENTMENT."

You'd probably agree.